Random rants

Times have been hectic; so much that I have been getting the feeling of losing it. I am currently rediscovering how work can creep into all aspects of one’s life. I go to great lengths to make sure my weekends are devoid of work, only to realize that there’s lots of sleep, movies to catch up with. There’s doesn’t seem to be any time left for hobbies, friends et al. I used to feel weird sending emails; short messages to friends in the city when calling them up would have been the way to go. Yes, ‘used to’ because it’s been happening for a while now. I plan and then re-plan trips, meets with friends but only a meager percentage of them work out. I do understand that this is the case with most of us; how much can we cram in? I’ve been trying to read, write and do sport outside of work with limited success. Travel plans are another activity I love planning. Fact is that they always stay in the realm of planned and never proceed. I’ve attempted starting to read again, and I must admit that there is some joy here. If only I could discipline and coax myself a little more it could open doors to other possibilities. For somebody who wants to take to serious writing, reading shouldn’t be a chore. I must make it more of a habit. Looking elsewhere it doesn’t look to be great time for this world. Most of us are just coming off after hearing news about a typhoon, a rapidly spreading epidemic and security concerns all over. Things don’t seem to be too alluring right now. The rain gods haven’t been effervescent this season and we are told that we are already staring at drought. These were my thoughts when I perched myself on my balcony yesterday night. Almost immediately I saw a shower come down. When it continued today morning as well it seemed to suggest that there’s hope after all.

Where have the sparrows gone?

Remember the sparrow? Once ubiquitous, they have come down to barely fleeting appearances these days. Always chirping away it seemed to be one long monologue when they were around. We had them for company in our house while we grew up. We loved feeding them, and though they wouldn’t venture too close to us they were gracious enough to feed of food we used to provide them.

It was a happy co-existence till the time we felt we grew up and decided to look for greener pastures. Bigger cities, even bigger apartments and more people meant that we don’t have a place for them sparrows anymore. They used the crooks and crevices around human habitations to build their nesting places but unfortunately modern cities don’t provide them that luxury anymore. They probably still are around in villages and smaller towns where finding grain and a place to nest aren’t yet difficult. Sadly, nobody seems to miss them at all. Perhaps we haven’t noticed; perhaps we don’t care or perhaps we just don’t know them well. But, I really miss waking up on lazy weekend morning knowing I need not get to school, ambling to my balcony and being greeted by these wonderfully energetic creatures. I dread the time my kids read about them in books, and ask me about them. I wonder where I will find one to show to them. Ah, what are we turning our planet into!

Beautiful while I sleep

I’ve been thinking about this for a while but have been procrastinating. One of the joys for me towards the end of a day has been observing my wife’s elaborate preparations before she goes to bed. She makes it a point to have a nice relaxed bath and always look nattily dressed. It is as if she has to look like an angel in her dreams. It’s an absolute pleasure watching her go through this routine everyday. Although she’s been trying her best to drive in some of these good habits into me it hasn’t actually worked. I am usually catching up with some personal emails, reading a book or watching the idiot box at the end of the day following which the only thing I can think of is to sleep like a log; whatever state I am in. How I wish – I could be beautiful while I sleep.

Things I'd like to change

I state travel, reading as a hobby; something that I always looked forward to. Work has taken me to a few different places – in India and the USA and it’s been an enriching experience. The last couple of years however have been pretty barren - on both fronts. No major travel conquests to report and I’ve almost stopped my reading habit. I count two books I could barely complete in the last year. A couple of failed plans to Pune and Coorg over the past 6 months haven’t helped matters with weekend sojourns. It looks like a sort of inertia has stuck my being.

Inertia really, because though work takes up a big part of my time, I spent another major chunk of it sleeping! Required I know, but I should stop being a lazy bum and devote a little time to reading and writing. Started reading The Devil Wears Prada last week; also have The Hungry Tide lined up. God knows how many years I will take to finish these two. It makes me sad that I hardly devoted any time at all to reading since school. As good as crime in my parlance and it is something that I want to change in my life. Read a lot more and take to writing. Not sure how good I can be at it but I do not want to lose before I get started.

Better news on the travel front though; we have been able to get things moving. Plans for a weekend trip to Mallela Theertham and Srisailam are half-way there. Knowing how good we are at postponing trips I wouldn’t have committed this here but this time around we have done some accommodation reservations – so it is almost a point of no return for us. Here’s hoping things go according to plan and I can opine a travelogue pretty soon.

To 'tip' or not...

The other day we went to a very famous (and very good) vegetarian restaurant in my city and enjoyed a wholesome meal. It isn't a very expensive restaurant, and the ambience is nothing to die for. In fact there is almost always such a very big crowd in there that it becomes difficult to find a place unless of course you are prepared to wait.

The food though is pretty good and that's a reason I usually end up frequenting the place. Being near my home is a good enough push too.

I paid the bill using my card and decided it's put in a part of my tip in the card to get my bill to a nicely rounded number (Rs 200 sounds better than a Rs 191 for me!). My server confronts me while I do this saying that I was not allowed to tip anything less than 10 rupees. That didn't go down well with me. A customer cannot be told a minimum amount to tip. I pay for the service, ambience and 'IF' I am happy. I later looked at my bill and found out that service charge was included as part of my bill. Now, I make it a point to check my bill before paying; always tip in cash; and never tip at a restaurant charging customers for their service.

The Intelligent

We always chase the stars, always the ever elusive. We go on and on, working and solving problems (you bet, am a software geek working on what else - fixing bugs) for somebody we don't even know. But am I becoming so very intelligent, that I am starting to miss the obvious? Isn't this something to think about?

And yes, the pun with the headline is intended....

Am I working enough?

This seems to be a question I always ask myself. After five years of cross-dimensional(now, what is that??) work I believe I can call myself a software professional. Always caught up in endless amount of work, things seem odd when I find time for hobby or can get out of work before dark.

Currently I am enjoying the pleasure of not having to put in any extra effort outside of my normal work hours. I find time for an hour of “Seinfield” after work, and a further hour of lawn tennis before I can catch up with “Friends” and cook my dinner. Wow, that's awesome, isn't it?

But things seem odd. I almost find no company to partner my tennis recreation. All my buddies are working hard at fixing another bug and making money for my organization. Wait. Now, that makes me feel guilty. Am I working enough? Is eight hours a day not enough? Everything seems out of place. I, seem out of place. All this lead me to write this piece. I just got curious about what you guys think on this.

Should our work get so important that it occupies everything in our lives? Maybe it shouldn't. But, how about a counter point. We spend almost a third of our day at work and another third sleeping. Then shouldn't work be damn important?. Because it earns you your livelihood should we be always(albeit grudgingly) thinking about it?

I believe it all depends on where you draw a line. If we can strike a good balance with our other activities and not overwork I think we would do just fine. But knowing when to and how to is probably tougher than the number of software enhancements I have to work on. Maybe I can never figure that out. But before I get busy again I will surely enjoy all my evening sojourns, my tennis practice, all the ogling at girls in my apartment complex, Seinfield, Friends and a lot lot more!!.

Solitude

Some of my most tranquil hours in life have come during those long rain-storms, which confined me to the house for the afternoon and the most part of the forenoon as well. Almost drifting away in the seemingly endless pelter of the rains and ending it all in a long evening where there was enough time for my thoughts to unfold. I still remember those incessant rains which Vizag used to receive. Barring those times when there was a deluge, I would half-heartedly perch myself on my first floor house balcony. Half-heartedly because, though I would have loved to waltz the rains I thoroughly enjoyed the security of my house. There is used to spend seemingly endless hours admiring the droplets of water, in my own sweet world – where I was never alone.

People would be tempted to ask me why I did that. Wasn't I alone? Being a small kid wouldn't I have preferred the company of men and other kids?

I would be inclined to answer in the negative. How exactly do you define company or proximity? What is this space which separates me from the others? Does being near bring two minds together? If we don't need a mind to be together then what bonding are we talking about? Two minds can be together even if they are afar.

Can we,instead of the long gossips with the society have our own thoughts to cheer us? I'd be considered a loner if I say that I find it wholesome to be alone for the greater part of my time. There is no better companion to us than “Solitude”. Aren't we more lonely when we go out and move out among men. I am alone when I think or do my work. Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intersperse a man and his fellows. We meet at very short intervals and not acquire any new value from each other. Does the value of a man lie in his skin – that we need to touch him, feel him, see him?

Silence, they say is an feeling in which many great things fathom themselves. Solitude – I'd say is more so a state of the mind. It shows how much a man is at peace with himself and with his surroundings. And we rarely manage to achieve that except with Death.

A Question of Time

I had no time, I was a little busy today”.

This is an oft stated premise which we give a family member, a friend or a dear one. Now, is this really true? How much time is really enough for us? Not twenty-four hours?

I remember a line from a movie I saw a very long time ago in which the protagonist tells a girl - “Time hota nahin hai,nikalna padtha hai”. Now for the folks who thought that was Greek let me tell you it is not. That's a quote from a Hindi movie and it meant - we never have time, we have to make it. Well, at least that's what I got from it!!.

So then what does it convey. We'll never find time for everything and everyone. It is absolutely impossible. Life has become very contemporary. The people we move with, the kind of work we associate with are becoming the most important part of our lives. To explain our failure to keep up with the rest of our things, we have one good reason. A lack of time.

And that is no understatement. We really don't. Change is constant. We have to run to keep pace with the world which is running amok. In the midst of all this we don't have enough time to stop and stare. Are we handling things as we ought to? Am looking for answers.

Do we care to return an old friend's note? Even our own family members seem to be against us once we are married. We don't tend to think with them anymore. We do not realize the importance of people in our lives. There'll be cases where our rejection might lead them to not come back to us again. We always to realize the importance of something only after we lose it. Should we be doing it with people too? Can't we make a little bit of time today to write to a friend, call a parent. And not just for the sake of making the call. Can you make the call to inquire how your mom is doing, how's she doing with all the work, whether she needs any help at all. If you can start doing this i believe you would have made some time and no more will you say you were too busy.

Everybody lives only twenty four hours a day. Skip a few minutes of the unnecessary gossip we have everyday, lose ten minutes of your sleep and wake up early, think a little bit less about ourselves. It's not going to do any harm to us. It'll tell somebody that you have not forgotten them. That you still care about them. And when they ask you how come you are not busy maybe you could even tell them - “Time hota nahin hai,nikalna padtha hai”!!.